Bullies just don’t go around and attack anyone and everyone, they are predators who pick out their victims that will make the easiest prey. Most of the time, the person they bully is weaker physically and mentally. The reason why they choose this person is that they are not looking for a fight, they are looking to dominate. They want to bully someone who they know will not fight back. Bullies usually target the brightest, funniest and most talented people because they want to see you fail and fall. They are jealous, and there number one thing they want to do is get an reaction. Bullies just want attention, they perform better in front of a crowds and they always look for an “easy meal”. So best advice in dealing with a bully is to avoid being a target. Changing small personality characteristics can go a long way.
Straight from the Bullies mouth
During my research I came across this article on the internet that a former bully wrote.
kjackson2012 on Apr 25, 2014 | parent | favorite | on: The worst year of my life
As a former bully, my advice to anyone being bullied is to fight back. I wasn’t someone who would physically attack people, but I would relentlessly verbally abuse them. I’m not sure about the legal consequences these days but I know that if the person I picked on punched me in the face, I’d probably back down. This is what I have told my kids if they ever find themselves bullied. I’m not sure about the circumstances of the OP but I do think if you allow the bullying to fester, then kids who normally wouldn’t bully start looking at you as a target and join in. The key is to not make yourself a target and if they know every time they bully you, that you will fight back tooth and nail, eventually they will choose someone else. It’s sad and unfair, but true. It’s like Lord of the Flies. The one thing that makes me glad that I’m not younger is the fact that I didn’t have the internet when I was a kid. I know for a fact I would have engaged in cyberbullying so I’m glad I never had access to a tool like this when I was at my worst.
Try and ignore and walk away but if this is a time when you need to be assertive, let your first line of defense take its natural course. Stay strong, use your body language and your voice, walk tall and hold your head high, look your bully square in the eyes and tell them, in a simple, non-emotional phrase:
- Cut it out, dude–that’s not cool
- Hey, that’s over the line
More often than not, this will suffice; even if you don’t win the fights, most bullies will leave you alone once it’s clear picking on you is more trouble than it’s worth. If the power imbalance is too extreme, or if the level of violence is life-threatening, then you need to get help (parents, teachers, senior management, police, as applicable). No one can size up the situation better than you can so the balance of attack has to be met with common sense especially if you think any escalation can result in serious injury or even a fatality. Diffusing a risky situation is an important life skill, one of my next topics coming soon.